The loss of a loved one is one of the most challenging experiences any of us will ever go through, and the process of grieving can often be long and difficult. As such, when someone we care about is going through this process, it can be hard to know what to say or do to offer support.
If you’re struggling to find the right words, here are some tips on what to say (and not to say) to someone who’s grieving, along with some suggestions on how to provide support at such a sad time.
Do Not Say: “How are You Doing?”
While this well-worn phrase might seem a polite way to consider someone’s feelings, the bereaved are far more likely to respond with “fine” or “okay” because they don’t want to make things uncomfortable by communicating their true feelings.
Instead, Say “I Can’t Imagine How You’re Feeling Right Now”
Recognise that what they’re going through in the present moment is incredibly painful, whilst also acknowledging that grief is unique to the individual and can’t be compared to the experiences you might have had. Don’t gloss over feelings; instead, allow them to identify how they are feeling on their own terms and grieve openly without judgement.
Do Not Say “They’re In a Better Place”
During such a confusing and personal time, it’s better to be cautious than to assume that the bereaved subscribe to a belief system. This phrase can also potentially de-emphasise the pain they are feeling in that moment. Whether or not their loved one is at peace, they still are not here with them, and that’s what is so hard about this loss.
Instead, Say “I’m Sorry You’re Suffering”
While the person is no doubt glad that their loved one isn’t in pain anymore, that doesn’t make their grief any different. Rephrase to focus on the person who is struggling at that moment.
Do Not Say: Nothing At All
A surprising amount of people never reach out to those they care about when they’re grieving because they simply feel uncomfortable with the situation.
Instead Say, “Remember When…?”
If your reluctance to reach out stems from worrying about saying the wrong thing, try leaning on personal experience. One of the most powerful things you can do for someone who’s grieving is to share a memory of their loved one - even if you were particularly close. In this way, you’re providing them with a perspective on their loved one that they’d never otherwise get to have, which can be incredibly comforting in times of mourning.
Bespoke Headstone Company in Lanarkshire
If you’re in the midst of planning a funeral or memorial service and are looking for a headstone, look no further than Stewarton Memorials. Our expert team specialise in bespoke headstones and gravestone cleaning services to help keep your loved one’s memory alive. Please get in touch with us for more information.
Comments